Funny story. I was at the mall a while a go and was shopping in the kids section at the Gap. The girl working there came up to me and said, "you look so familiar." So any normal person would maybe jump to the conclusion that she had possibly attended one of the classes that I taught at the gym. Nope. Not me. Instead I naturally assume that we went to high school together. So I ask her "Did you grow up around here?" She says, "Ummmmm yeah but I am still a Senior in high school." Alright, soooo I guess my age radar is a little out of whack! Awkward!!
I am at that weird stage in life now where they are no longer checking my id at bars, restaurants, and liquor stores. I am strangley missing this minor inconveniece. Even though I feel like I am a teenager, obviously my newly acquired wrinkles are proving otherwise. Dang it!! My new years resolution this year is to not age. Wish me luck!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
New Years Resolution 2004
It is that time of year again. Resolution time. Time to reflect on all of your bad habits and set your goals for the coming months. My world changed on a resolution, so don't underestimate the power of this time of year. For those of you who don't know I used to be over weight. I have a lot of people come up to me now and say that they don't remember that or they don't believe me. I can assure you it is true. I posted before and after pictures at the end of this blog for you to check out. The funny thing is, I grew up in a small town and I would walk down the street and see people that I have known my whole life and they didn't recognize me when I was at my heaviest. No surprise, I didn't really recognize myself either. I have spent a lot of time wondering how I let my self go to the extent that I did. I think a lot of different factors played in to my decision to gain weight. First of all, I grew up a cheerleader. Working out was fun. Like a lot of high school sports I was driven by passion for the sport instead of trying to look thin. I was blessed in that I never really had to think about my weight. I would eat entire pizzas by myself and never gain a pound. I had a metabolism that I would now kill for. So when I went to college I stopped all physical activity. I gained the inevitable college weight but was still never so heavy that I thought I had a problem but I started to develop some really bad habits. I got a little too comfortable. I was in love, and I am truly convinced that the man I am with would love me no matter what I look like. I think for a lot of couples when you first get married it is easy to fall into la la land and happily gain weight together until it gets a little out of hand and you get more than a little disgusted with yourself. I love food. Always have. Always will. I can't cook, but I can sure eat. Eating a lot, coupled with not working out is not a very good combination. So then, I got pregnant with my first baby. Eighty pounds later. Poof, I was a different human being. I wish I could say the weight that I carried was just because I had a baby. When you carry it for over a year that excuse starts to fade. I am an emotional eater. When I was sad, nervous, happy, or bored I would be eating. It is still a struggle for me to stay disciplined in the food department. It always will be. But thank God I fell in love with exercise. What I have learned in my experience with weight loss is that there is not one set formula that seems to work for everyone. I personally am not a big fan of diets. I feel like it leeds to a roller coaster effect that I have personally put myself through. I hate pills and quick fixes. Like most things in life it is about finding balance. And the battle is always constant. You can't bandage weight loss like you can't bandage most problems. I often get asked the question, what was your secret? I had to stop beating myself up for making poor food choices. In the past when I would eat something I knew was not so good for me I would binge and then convince myself that I would start eating good again on Monday, or the beginning of the month, or New Years. Why not start again the next meal? I never punish myself like I used to about making a poor food choice. I try to make wise choices in the food department most of the time. I try to eat 6 times a day with protein, carb, and veggie combinations. Notice, I used the word try. I am a human being. I do my best. If I had a secret at all it would be to find some type of exercise that you like. I used to hate working out. My mom used to practically force me to come with her, but one day it just clicked with me in a spin class and I just fell in love. Try different things. For me it wasn't just the exercise, I developed a connection to a spin instructor. She will still always hold a special place in my heart, I am not sure I could have stuck with a work out routine if it weren't for her inspiration. A big reason I enjoyed and continue to enjoy going to the gym is because I have developed so many friendships there.
I pray that I will be able to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I continue the journey to find balance in my life. I have swung from extreme to extreme in the past. Temptations are everywhere, but you do the best you can.
I pray that I will be able to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I continue the journey to find balance in my life. I have swung from extreme to extreme in the past. Temptations are everywhere, but you do the best you can.
Migraine
I got a migraine last night. I blame it on stupidity. If you have ever had a migraine you know how excruciating it is and should be avoided at all costs. The symptoms I endure include blurred vision which makes you very dizzy. Throbbing pain in your head. I lose feeling in half of my tongue and some of my fingers, sometimes my whole hand. The inability to complete a thought. Extreme sensitivity to light and movement. And, over all extreme grouchiness. So did I try to avoid it? No, instead I pretty much wrote the recipe on how to easily obtain a migraine. I started my day with a one pump toffee nut soy late from Starbucks prior to my spin class. (no food) I had two classes and one rehearsal for launch with only two bottles of water consumed in the entire day. I had a great lunch but probably should have consumed more calories due to how physical I was. Riding on some stress and lack of sleep. Killer combination. I should know better. Unfortunately, the day after feels similar to a hang over. Tired, nauseated and dehydrated. Yuck! Today is gonna rock!
p.s. If you have never tried a one pump toffee nut soy late you should. They are fabulous. Just eat some breakfast too:)
p.s. If you have never tried a one pump toffee nut soy late you should. They are fabulous. Just eat some breakfast too:)
Monday, December 27, 2010
Climbing
O.k. Yes, I am a Miley Cyrus fan. O.k. Yes, I do realize I am in my thirties. O.k. Yes, I realize this may be totally unacceptable for some of you. Whether you are a fan or not you should listen to the lyrics of her song "The Climb." It makes me a little emotional every time I hear it.
I am a dreamer. Anyone who knows me knows that I have a tendency to get a little obsessive compulsive about pretty much everything I take a liking to. When I got involved in running I ran almost every 5k in the state. When I started scrap booking I wanted to buy a store and sent all of my creations to the major scrap booking magazines. When I started road biking you would of thought I was training for the Tour de France. I think you get the point. So here is the thing, like I said before, I am a dreamer. I have always held extremely high expectations of my self. I think there has always been a part of me that truly believed someday I could break some 5k record, or become published, or win some amazing cycling race. That has never happened. Along with my obsessive compulsion I also crave constant stimulation. I think that is why I know whole heartedly that the career path I have chosen is truly the path I am meant to travel. It is different every day. I am constantly challenged. I have always been a little disappointed in myself though, because I drift from obsession to obsession. I never have reached a goal I have set out to accomplish. Or have I?
If you look at it from Miley's perspective ( oh my gosh, I can't believe I just said that) it is all about the Climb. Every step a long the way has lead me to this very spot. Don't get me wrong I am still climbing. My goals are still lofty, but I know I am headed in the right direction. My goals are scary. Intimidating. And, most of the time I wonder if they are attainable. But, as long as I love what I am doing a long the way that is what it is all about. Right? Thank you miss Miley Cyrus for your wonderful words of wisdom. Tweens and thirty somethings every where are lucky to have you:)! O.k. soooooo, I just blogged about Miley Cyrus. I should probably be humiliated.
p.s. I promise to never write about teenage popstars again.
p.s.s. Unless they write some amazing song worth blogging about.
p.s.s. I do realize this makes me a dork:)
I am a dreamer. Anyone who knows me knows that I have a tendency to get a little obsessive compulsive about pretty much everything I take a liking to. When I got involved in running I ran almost every 5k in the state. When I started scrap booking I wanted to buy a store and sent all of my creations to the major scrap booking magazines. When I started road biking you would of thought I was training for the Tour de France. I think you get the point. So here is the thing, like I said before, I am a dreamer. I have always held extremely high expectations of my self. I think there has always been a part of me that truly believed someday I could break some 5k record, or become published, or win some amazing cycling race. That has never happened. Along with my obsessive compulsion I also crave constant stimulation. I think that is why I know whole heartedly that the career path I have chosen is truly the path I am meant to travel. It is different every day. I am constantly challenged. I have always been a little disappointed in myself though, because I drift from obsession to obsession. I never have reached a goal I have set out to accomplish. Or have I?
If you look at it from Miley's perspective ( oh my gosh, I can't believe I just said that) it is all about the Climb. Every step a long the way has lead me to this very spot. Don't get me wrong I am still climbing. My goals are still lofty, but I know I am headed in the right direction. My goals are scary. Intimidating. And, most of the time I wonder if they are attainable. But, as long as I love what I am doing a long the way that is what it is all about. Right? Thank you miss Miley Cyrus for your wonderful words of wisdom. Tweens and thirty somethings every where are lucky to have you:)! O.k. soooooo, I just blogged about Miley Cyrus. I should probably be humiliated.
p.s. I promise to never write about teenage popstars again.
p.s.s. Unless they write some amazing song worth blogging about.
p.s.s. I do realize this makes me a dork:)
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Shorts
So I have always been a little weird about wearing shorts. I work out quite a bit......alright quite a bit is an understatement. I am a freak, I work out almost everyday (sometimes mulitple times a day). So it is not like my legs are hideous, but I have never been comfortable about the shape of my legs. I feel gross whining about it because it could be so much worse but it is what it is. We all have our weird issue with some part of our body. I know that shorts are kind of a weird topic to blog about in the middle of winter but my brother and his fantastic girlfriend bought me a pair of shorts for Christmas. They are not just shorts, they are from my favorite clothing work out line lulu lemon and they are fabulous. Naturally, I decided I should break out of my non short wearing box. I wore them to teach my class today. So why is it that the day I decide to take a risk even though my legs are albino white, slightly hairy, and oh yeah it is the middle of winter does the news channel come and video tape my class? Really? So if you see me on the news laugh a little (because you know the inside scoop). And then get over it, cause these legs of mine had the ultimate break out. It was obviously their time to shine. I will from this day forward be proud to show of my stems!
Friday, December 24, 2010
Movie Night. Black Swan style.
So I love and hate going to thought provoking movies. I love that someone could be so brilliant to create something that can keep you up at night ruminating in your thoughts but hate that I was up all night. I went to see the Black Swan. If you haven't seen it......maybe postpone reading this blog until afterwards. Simply put. Creative mastery. So I am sharing with you the thoughts that I can't get out of my head. Welcome to my scary world.
First thought: So I used to consider myself a perfectionist. Now when comparing myself to a ballerina I think any ballerina would be insulted by my claim. The intense scrutiny that they put themselves through mentally and physically is mind blowing to me. The controversial dedication that is required to be successful is heartbreaking and admirable at the same time. The films ability to capture the insanity that one can put themselves through on their quest towards perfection was impressive. I think that artists that truly achieve perfection, if it exists, seriously lose themselves in the process because they become more connected to the dream instead of the reality. I don't know anyone who has been passionate about anything that hasn't beat themselves up for not committing more dedication towards their greatest love. Even in my world there is not a day that goes by that I don't obsess about how to become a better instructor. What more could I do to be more of an authentic fighter? Do I take Karate, or Tai Kwon Do? How can I channel more authentically into the emotions of the people in my class? But when do you hit the breaking point? When does the dedication become destructive? In the movie Natalie Portman's character never got a chance to live because she was busy chasing her dream of perfection.
Second thought: Passion vs. Technique I have been spending a lot of time thinking about this one. My goal as a Group Fitness Manager is to inspire people to reach their full potential. Now in the movie the head of the dance company was able to pinpoint exactly what she needed to feel and experience to become more connected to her role. Whether it be appropriate or not. No worries instructors that may read this I promise I will never enter creepy ville and cross the line to that extreme but I was inspired. I wish I had the ability to communicate and pull out of someone the invisible but crucial element of success in any art the ability to just lose yourself passionately. In something as simple as group exercise the instructors who connect on a spiritual level rather than just the physical are the instructors that are most successful at packing the room. To achieve mastery it is so much more than just practicing technique. You can do everything "right" but still not get it "right." Connection must be felt. I need to improve my ability to get this out of people. I think because my skills in this area have not been refined I had convinced myself that you either have it or you don't, but now I am thinking I am just masking a weakness. If I can pull it out of a room why can't I pull it out of an individual. I need to be better.
Third thought: Disfunction
Holy Crap! In the movie Natalie's character must have been in her twenties and her room would have been appropriate for a 10 year old. Her mother was so controlling, and abusive in one of the scariest of ways. She was obviously living her life through her daughter, but was competing with her at the same time all the while sabotaging her success. Gross! Alright, but disfunction also makes us who we are. Through our gross experiences we have a choice to grow and become a better version of ourselves. A little disfunction is human and welcomed and unavoidable. The thought that there is a plan for each and everyone of us and that we are never dealt cards that we are incapable of handling kind of eludes that we are destined to our disfunction. Why do some people just simply get the raw end of the deal. She was born into insanity, but without the insanity she may have never accomplished her dream. Heavy. I think I will settle for my mediocrity and maintain my sanity:
So in a nut shell. The sacrifice required to become perfect is not a journey I am willing to take. The sacrifice required towards perfection is a journey I will never give up. It is fine to have an unattainable goal as long as you realize it is unattainable right? So I guess I am not a perfectionist after all:)
First thought: So I used to consider myself a perfectionist. Now when comparing myself to a ballerina I think any ballerina would be insulted by my claim. The intense scrutiny that they put themselves through mentally and physically is mind blowing to me. The controversial dedication that is required to be successful is heartbreaking and admirable at the same time. The films ability to capture the insanity that one can put themselves through on their quest towards perfection was impressive. I think that artists that truly achieve perfection, if it exists, seriously lose themselves in the process because they become more connected to the dream instead of the reality. I don't know anyone who has been passionate about anything that hasn't beat themselves up for not committing more dedication towards their greatest love. Even in my world there is not a day that goes by that I don't obsess about how to become a better instructor. What more could I do to be more of an authentic fighter? Do I take Karate, or Tai Kwon Do? How can I channel more authentically into the emotions of the people in my class? But when do you hit the breaking point? When does the dedication become destructive? In the movie Natalie Portman's character never got a chance to live because she was busy chasing her dream of perfection.
Second thought: Passion vs. Technique I have been spending a lot of time thinking about this one. My goal as a Group Fitness Manager is to inspire people to reach their full potential. Now in the movie the head of the dance company was able to pinpoint exactly what she needed to feel and experience to become more connected to her role. Whether it be appropriate or not. No worries instructors that may read this I promise I will never enter creepy ville and cross the line to that extreme but I was inspired. I wish I had the ability to communicate and pull out of someone the invisible but crucial element of success in any art the ability to just lose yourself passionately. In something as simple as group exercise the instructors who connect on a spiritual level rather than just the physical are the instructors that are most successful at packing the room. To achieve mastery it is so much more than just practicing technique. You can do everything "right" but still not get it "right." Connection must be felt. I need to improve my ability to get this out of people. I think because my skills in this area have not been refined I had convinced myself that you either have it or you don't, but now I am thinking I am just masking a weakness. If I can pull it out of a room why can't I pull it out of an individual. I need to be better.
Third thought: Disfunction
Holy Crap! In the movie Natalie's character must have been in her twenties and her room would have been appropriate for a 10 year old. Her mother was so controlling, and abusive in one of the scariest of ways. She was obviously living her life through her daughter, but was competing with her at the same time all the while sabotaging her success. Gross! Alright, but disfunction also makes us who we are. Through our gross experiences we have a choice to grow and become a better version of ourselves. A little disfunction is human and welcomed and unavoidable. The thought that there is a plan for each and everyone of us and that we are never dealt cards that we are incapable of handling kind of eludes that we are destined to our disfunction. Why do some people just simply get the raw end of the deal. She was born into insanity, but without the insanity she may have never accomplished her dream. Heavy. I think I will settle for my mediocrity and maintain my sanity:
So in a nut shell. The sacrifice required to become perfect is not a journey I am willing to take. The sacrifice required towards perfection is a journey I will never give up. It is fine to have an unattainable goal as long as you realize it is unattainable right? So I guess I am not a perfectionist after all:)
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Toodle dee doo to you.
Merry Christmas to all my homies.
I hope Santa brings you a pound of bologna.
May all your holiday wishes come true.
Gurumpety gobblety toodle dee doo.
That is my Merry Christmas poem.
The only thing I asked for this Christmas was for my husband to write me a poem. He is going to have a tough time topping my bologna magic but he is very eloquent so I am sure his will be fantastic. I really have a tough time going to the store and buying my husband a present. It feels weird. Both of us have everything we would ever want. At the risk of making a lot of people throw up in their mouth right now, I can't really give him anything that would symbolize how much I love him. So we have resulted to poetry. Will I share it with you? Heck to the no!!!! Thats private:)
I hope Santa brings you a pound of bologna.
May all your holiday wishes come true.
Gurumpety gobblety toodle dee doo.
That is my Merry Christmas poem.
The only thing I asked for this Christmas was for my husband to write me a poem. He is going to have a tough time topping my bologna magic but he is very eloquent so I am sure his will be fantastic. I really have a tough time going to the store and buying my husband a present. It feels weird. Both of us have everything we would ever want. At the risk of making a lot of people throw up in their mouth right now, I can't really give him anything that would symbolize how much I love him. So we have resulted to poetry. Will I share it with you? Heck to the no!!!! Thats private:)
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
My first blog.
First topic: A day in the life of Trae
So today in a nutshell. I woke up. Late. Didn't take a shower (because I'm gross sometimes). Took my daughter to McDonald's (because I am also always flying by the seat of my pants). Taught a spin class. (Wondered if they liked it.....for way to long) Had a wonderful lunch with a good friend. Went to work. Best job in the world. Seriously. Taught BodyPump. Talked to my best friend. Best friend started a blog. Naturally, I followed suit. Ate dinner with my family. Watched TV with grandma. WOW!!! Sounds totally uninteresting. Actually, lets dig a little deeper.
I woke up. In my grandmothers basement. My husband kids and I all moved in 4 months ago to help take care of my grandma. My poppy recently passed away so we are taking care of her. There hasn't been a day that has gone by where I haven't seen her cry. It makes me sad. It has also helped me to truly focus on what is important in life. I am forever grateful for the experience. It has changed me for the better. I only take showers now about every three days. Disgusting I know. Especially because I am a group exercise instructor so I teach classes all day long. Too much information to share with the world, yes, but at least if you smell me you will know why. The plumbing at grandmas is not ideal and it makes showering very challenging. I work at a gym so I should be able to shower there everyday. Unfortunately I am an unorganized human being so I can't seem to pull it together and make it happen.
I taught rpm ( a spin class). I love teaching. It is my passion. It goes way beyond getting on stage and instructing people. I love helping people achieve their fitness goals. Teaching is my vehicle to be able to do this. I crave the endorphin high that you experience when exercising. I love the confident, organized, energetic person I become when I am instructing a class. I love the challenge. I love the success stories. You could say, I am addicted to my job.
I had a wonderful lunch with a friend. To say friend is an understatement. I believe this woman has helped me learn so many lessons about myself that I consider our relationship like family. I feel very blessed to be surrounded by friendship that encourages continuous growth and meaningful conversations.
Talked to my best friend Brenda.
A highlight of most of my days. I have known Brenda since I was 4 years old. I have never had a conversation with her where I didn't laugh. I have never met anyone like her. She is simply one of a kind. Besides my husband and kids I don't think anyone has ever loved me more than this woman. And, of course the feeling is mutual. There is nothing like a life long girlfriend. Why do I like her? She makes fun of me every day, she laughs at my jokes ( but it is weird....I am only funny when I am talking to her), I feel good every time I hear her voice. The funny thing about love is that it is hard to define. You just have to feel it. It will be very likely that Brenda and I will be blogging about the same things. She will be funny. I will be me. Not sure how to categorize myself. I guess you will have to stay tuned and find out.
Trae
So today in a nutshell. I woke up. Late. Didn't take a shower (because I'm gross sometimes). Took my daughter to McDonald's (because I am also always flying by the seat of my pants). Taught a spin class. (Wondered if they liked it.....for way to long) Had a wonderful lunch with a good friend. Went to work. Best job in the world. Seriously. Taught BodyPump. Talked to my best friend. Best friend started a blog. Naturally, I followed suit. Ate dinner with my family. Watched TV with grandma. WOW!!! Sounds totally uninteresting. Actually, lets dig a little deeper.
I woke up. In my grandmothers basement. My husband kids and I all moved in 4 months ago to help take care of my grandma. My poppy recently passed away so we are taking care of her. There hasn't been a day that has gone by where I haven't seen her cry. It makes me sad. It has also helped me to truly focus on what is important in life. I am forever grateful for the experience. It has changed me for the better. I only take showers now about every three days. Disgusting I know. Especially because I am a group exercise instructor so I teach classes all day long. Too much information to share with the world, yes, but at least if you smell me you will know why. The plumbing at grandmas is not ideal and it makes showering very challenging. I work at a gym so I should be able to shower there everyday. Unfortunately I am an unorganized human being so I can't seem to pull it together and make it happen.
I taught rpm ( a spin class). I love teaching. It is my passion. It goes way beyond getting on stage and instructing people. I love helping people achieve their fitness goals. Teaching is my vehicle to be able to do this. I crave the endorphin high that you experience when exercising. I love the confident, organized, energetic person I become when I am instructing a class. I love the challenge. I love the success stories. You could say, I am addicted to my job.
I had a wonderful lunch with a friend. To say friend is an understatement. I believe this woman has helped me learn so many lessons about myself that I consider our relationship like family. I feel very blessed to be surrounded by friendship that encourages continuous growth and meaningful conversations.
Talked to my best friend Brenda.
A highlight of most of my days. I have known Brenda since I was 4 years old. I have never had a conversation with her where I didn't laugh. I have never met anyone like her. She is simply one of a kind. Besides my husband and kids I don't think anyone has ever loved me more than this woman. And, of course the feeling is mutual. There is nothing like a life long girlfriend. Why do I like her? She makes fun of me every day, she laughs at my jokes ( but it is weird....I am only funny when I am talking to her), I feel good every time I hear her voice. The funny thing about love is that it is hard to define. You just have to feel it. It will be very likely that Brenda and I will be blogging about the same things. She will be funny. I will be me. Not sure how to categorize myself. I guess you will have to stay tuned and find out.
Trae
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