Little Brother

Tomorrow is my brother's birthday.  Sometimes watching my daughter and son makes me feel like I am living my life all over again through different eyes.  I remember growing up feeling like my brother was the most annoying person on the planet.  That he was purposefully trying to do whatever he could to make me miserable.  I was really hard on him.  Being a big sister is tough.  I watch Ella get so frustrated with Tanner and part of me feels so much compassion for her.  As naughty as my son can be sometimes all he really ever wants is attention.  And most of the time whether it is positive or negative he is craving it from his big sister.  He looks up to her so much. Almost everyday Tanner tries to give her a present, or tell her she is beautiful, or tells her that he loves her more than anything in the world.  It makes my heart melt.  Ella rolls her eyes.  Although, as much as she claims to be annoyed constantly by her brother when he is not around all she talks about is how she wonders what he is doing.  If we are at the store she always points out things Tanner would like.  And if she asks for candy she always grabs some for her brother as well without influence.  As much as my children fight they also show an incredible amount of love for each other.  They will cuddle watching movies together.  Ella will be the first to stick up for Tanner if she sees someone being mean to him.    And sometimes watching them play or dance together you would find it hard to believe they ever fought.  I love listening to them make each other laugh.  I can't imagine a life without my brother.  The bond I have with him is so hard to explain because it is so different from any other relationship I have ever had.  When I am around him I still kind of want to pinch him but in the same moment I want to tell him how incredibly proud of him I am.  I know without a doubt he would always be there for me and vice versa.  If Ella and Tanner only knew how incredibly lucky they are to have each other.  I pray that someday they will be just as close as my brother and I are.  I love him more than I could ever put into words.