Keys

So this morning my husband had to take me to go get my car.  We drove across town to go pick it up.  As soon as we got there I realized that I didn't have my keys.  Awesome.  So typical of me to do something like this.  Did I forget my lip gloss or my phone.  No way. But I had to forget the only important thing crucial to our plan. I could tell he was  a little more than annoyed with me.  Rightfully so.  So in the awkward silence I sent him an text that said.  "I'm sorry."  He wrote back, "I love you."  I responded, "Thank God."  He wrote, "you are my special lady-don't stress about a key."  I don't think he could have said anything else that could make me feel more special.  I am married to a very patient man.  I love that he has the ability to put things in perspective.  He could have chosen to be mad at me all day, but instead he made me feel more loved.  What a beautiful man I get to spend the rest of my life with.  We inevitably make a million mistakes in our lifetime.  In my case maybe a billion.  Thank God we have people in our lives to love us along the way.

M&M Break up

Curse you pretzel M&Ms the very sight of you makes my mouth drool. How dare you haunt me with your delicious flavor. I am trying to behave and you are constantly making me crave your crunch and your unique combination of salty sweet. If you love me, you will let me go. From this day forward I am eliminating you from my life. No more secret trips to the candy bowl for me. No more convincing my son to grab me one too when he gives in to your temptation. Thank you for the good times but our relationship has taken an unhealthy turn. I am officially breaking up with you.

A day at the playground

So there is not a day this year that I have picked my daughter up from school where she hasn't said her day was wonderful. You can totally tell that she means it too. Her teacher is fabulous. During her parent teacher conference I had expressed concern to the teacher that I was a little worried because it seemed like she was playing with a lot of kids that were younger than her. Naturally, I was a little worried that she was having a hard time making friends her own age. She told us a story of a day where my daughter and a group of girls were playing at recess. She said my daughter was upset because the girls she wanted to play with wouldn't give her a turn while they were playing jump rope and it was really hurting her feelings. If I were the teacher I probably would have went over to the girls and encouraged all of them to take turns so that everyone had a good shot at playing together. Is that what my daughter's teacher did? No. Thank god. Instead, she looked at my little girl and said, "Here is a rope, start your own group." Brilliant. She empowered my daughter. She gave her the tools to be a leader. She didn't let her get her way by complaining but instead helped build up her confidence by starting a group of her own. It is moments like that that can change your life forever. I love that story. I love my daughter's confidence. I love my daughter's teacher.

No Judgement

I have the messiest car in town. It is border line disgusting. Actually, there is no border line about it. It's bad. Every year I make promices to my husband and myself to keep it clean. Obviously, I let us both down. It is a major inconvenience. I am mortified to let anyone see how bad it is and will purposefully park far away so that no one will witness the philth. I am not afraid to talk about it, but when it comes to actually witnessing the disaster it is a whole other story. So I had a break through today. I let a very close friend of mine ride with me surrounded by the mess. Did I think about it? Yes. But the beautiful thing about it is that it didn't bother me the way it normally would. I was still naturally embarassed. I mean for God's sake I think she had to sit on a pile of Starbucks cups. But, there was no judgement. She accepted me for who I was and loved me anyways. I thought about it afterwards. I have in the past, much like my car kept myself very private. I have been very scared to let anyone in to see the messiness in my life. I will always be a little reserved and apprehensive to let people in to my inner most thoughts and emotions but it is definitley refreshing to not be afraid to simply be me. And for the first time ever I actually wanted to clean my car. In the past I have felt like I had to. The hoarder in me will miss the clutter, but I feel like a gigantic weight has been lifted.

The highlight of my day

I am wondering lately if a day will come where I don't embarrass myself. Today, I was running out of the gym to my car in the freezing cold. I didn't have my jacket on so I was in a full on sprint. Before I knew it I lost my footing and skid on my palms, and did a tuck and roll in the parking lot. I wish I could blame it on ice. Unfortunately there was no ice around me, what there was around me was a ton of new years resolution members watching my fall. One car stopped, the guy in it ran out to come to my rescue. As I watched him come towards me I quickly got up and ran the other direction, pretending like it didn't happen. He saw me in the gym smiled and just shook his head. The silliest thing was that I was more concerned about whether or not I ripped a hole in my new fancy workout jacket and pants than whether or not I had an injury. The answer is no. My outfit safely made it through the collision. And the only thing I injured was a little bit of my pride. The great thing about it though is that I haven't stopped smiling since it happened. You have to laugh at yourself. I am a gigantic clutz, but oh my gosh that was so funny. Falling on my face made my day.

Cup of Love

I have an obsession with Starbucks coffee. Especially during winter. I feel like I am seriously magnetized to this steaming cup of love. I have tried to give up this tasty treat before, but have decided it is so not worth it. Life deserves indulgence. The joy that drinking my one pump toffee nut soy late brings me is worth the guilt that I feel for paying the small fortune. So what is so fabulous about it? I love the first sip. Especially during winter. It is so warm and automatically puts a smile on my face. I love that without fail it always tastes the same. I love that the barista making it always knows my name and has it ready before I even order. I love that for just a minute I can escape my world sit in my car and just sip and smile.

Thankful

This morning Gram wanted to make us breakfast. My grandma has told us that cooking for our family is one of the only things that helps to take her mind off of the fact that my Poppy passed away. She made enough food for a small village. Grandma raised four boys and she is cooking meals as if they are still living under her roof. This morning, halfway through our meal, my son asked why we didn't say a prayer before we ate today. So, we all stopped eating. My son asked if he could say the prayer. "Dear God, thank you for electricity. Thank you for forgiveness. Thank you for watching over our family. Thank you for my sister and my food. Amen." We all congratulated him for doing such a wonderful job. I have thought about my sons prayer all day.
It has been a challenging year. One of the hardest of my life. I can't imagine a better way to start the next year than to give thanks. This year I am not resolving to give up anything. We have given up a lot the past year. This year is about being gracious for the things we have. I am so thankful for the time I have with my grandma, I am thankful for the fact that we have the ability to cook more than enough food. I am thankful for my husband and my kids and the sacrifices they have been willing to make. I am fortunate.